Grandpa: Kathleen, what are they selling in that store?
Kathleen: (pauses, thinks) um, women!
We weren't sure whether she was referring to the mannequins or the women shopping.
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The views expressed in this blog are personal and not representative of the U.S. Government, etc etc etc.
Read at your own risk.
Us
- Sherwood family
- Tashkent, Uzbekistan
- We're a family of nine traveling the world one country at a time. Brandon's a diplomat and the rest of us (Ashley, Kathleen, Sophia, Edwin and Joseph, Eleanor, William, and Elizabeth) are just keeping him company.
William's Witticisms
- "Joseph, YOU commudist!" when Joseph called him a communist.
- "Please immigrate," whenever he wants to spin.
- "Hi, Sophia!" whenever he addresses Kathleen.
- "He/she's screaming," whenever anyone cries.
- "Thank you you're welcome," whenever anyone tells him 'you're welcome.'
Eleanor's Wisdom
- "When I'm grown up, my mommy name will be Ashley."
- "I'll be the marshrutka driver and you be the lady, Mommy. 'Get out of the freakin' road, lady!!!'"
- "Jesus can give me a kiss on the iPad.... We need to get him out of there."
- "Thank you, Daddy, for taking me to Canada!" while on a layover in Toronto.
- "Go pee-pee on the rock, teddy bear. Good job!"
What Joseph Said
- "Hey, look! I'm fishing for women!" while dangling a potholder from a string.
- "A grandma is a mom who is really, really, really, really, really, really old" - to his grandmother.
- "When I'm all alone I'm bored and have nothing to do except talk to strangers and hop in their cars."
- "I need to drink my milk so that I don't get crickets."
- "Fruit comes from trees. Pigs are made of bacon and ham." after Brandon tried to tell him that bacon grew on trees.
Edwin's Edicts
- "If you bring a stegosaurus to a t-rex fight, your stegosaurus is gonna get eaten."
- "When I was just a baby pumpkin my mama told me, son, always be a good baby pumpkin, don't ever play with toy guns. But I shot a green bean in Reno just to see it fall off the vine."
- "I made a HU-NORMOUS plane the other day. It was as heavy as a baby kitten."
- "I squashed that spider LIKE A BUG!!!"
- "It's okay to flush bugs. Just not ones that are as big as the planet."
Sophia's Statements
- "Why do Aztecs greet each other by touching noses?"
- "Mom, why do hobo mothers chew up food and spit it in their babies' mouths???'
- "Where DID I put that baby?!?" - while playing with Eleanor.
- "Mom, there's a lot of dying in this!" while reading history.
- "Mom, come see the coffin we made for Joseph!!!"
Kathleen's Truisms
- "Mom, we just made a new musical with Eleanor as the star. It's called 'Baby Get Your Gun.'"
- "When Ferdinand and Isabella got married, there was a Spanish baby supernova!"
- "This is like shooting a gun... only safer," while putting library books in the return slot.
- "Florida, Virginia, Tennessee... Georgia?!? That's not a state!" while looking at a US map
- "Sophia, Max is French... you know, like french toast sticks."
Blog Archive
- Cairo Evacuation (30)
- Homeschooling (21)
- Kathleen's posts (2)
- Living in America (13)
- Living in Astana (4)
- Living in Baku (64)
- Living in Cairo (37)
- Living in Dushanbe (78)
- Living in Nur-Sultan (1)
- Living in Tashkent (54)
- Living with Children (216)
- Living with the Foreign Service (142)
- The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (4)
3 comments:
Priceless. I'm always in the mood to shop for a good woman. I think your father is a bad influence on your children. haha
Oh boy... lol!
I can't imagine how he must feel
Work from home India
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