My Life, as a Mother

A long time ago, before I lived in Egypt, before Brandon joined the Foreign Service, before I had children, and even before I was married, I went to college.

When I was in college at BYU, I had to choose a major.  Since I was a child, I had always drawn.  I was good at it, and I enjoyed being good at it.  In high school I always had art classes, and was known for being 'artistic.'

Everyone told me that I should major in art, and I told everyone that I had no desire to.  Nevertheless, during the second semester of my freshman year, I applied and was accepted to the art program.  My junior year I applied and was accepted to the BFA program.  My official college degree is in painting.

A week after graduating, I was married, and a week later, I was in Egypt.  Kathleen came about eight months after we left Egypt, Sophia followed less than two years on Kathleen's heels, and Edwin showed up a year and a half later.  I've been busy.

Every time I have a child, I tell myself that finally, now I can quit painting without feeling guilty.  I don't have to try and juggle the responsibility for three children while trying to create something completely unrelated to them.  The girls won't have to ask me when I'll be done painting so I can go play with them.  I won't have to try and find that perfect balance between the two and I can take the children to the pool every single day.

But still, I paint.  I have no grand visions of solo exhibitions in the Guggenheim, articles in ArtNews, or even a gallery or two carrying my work.  Instead I paint while the world almost falls apart around me.  But most days, I save it just in time.  Because that's what I do.  I'm a mother.